It’s been several months (ie, almost a year) since I had last posted on my website. In the meantime, incredible things have happened to me. The question is: Where should I start?
Late last year, as I was heading down a dark, loathing and bitter road, an old friend and I had rekindled our friendship. Not that it ever died, but she got married and we kept our distance. While we were reconnecting, she had ever-so-subtly nudged me in a direction that I needed to go. Instead of letting my heart continue to harden and freeze, she had ever-so-slightly reintroduced me to God, Christ and the Church. I started listening to her church’s podcasts, of my own volition and following whatever I could. Yes, it was an extremely drastic change in the direction I had been heading. For lack of a more succinct way of putting it, I finally saw the light.
Throughout our conversations, she would ask me some rather pointed questions, and I would answer truthfully and from the heart. Yes, to say the least, I realized that I still have feelings for her. Granted, it took a very, very long time for me to initially realize how I felt about her years ago, my feelings had still lingered on for her. Although she may not believe it, it’s certainly true. INCREDIBLY true.
After all the talk, I (or was it we? :-P) decided to pursue a relationship with her. While making this choice, I had to weigh many things in my mind. In particular, should I try to have her move to Owensboro, or should I move to Colorado Springs? After another long, fruitful, and helpful conversation with her, she had decided that she is NOT going to move for me, for many particular reasons that I agree with. After sitting and thinking for a long while (far longer than I like to admit), I had realized that there is nothing in Owensboro for me. Between family in-fighting, a derelict group of friends (aside from those that have stayed close to me, you guys know who you are), a job that just couldn’t pay my bills, and a dating scene that consisted of crazy women or gold diggers or both, I had finally decided that it’s time for me to move somewhere else. Colorado Springs it is!
In March, we had made it official, more or less. Yes, we are an item. A couple. We are dating. Suffice to say, I love this woman more than I could have ever imagined, and it’s not going to change. I have harbored my feelings for her for years, and even then, there were a few years that I wasn’t even aware of how I felt. Yes, this silly, raucous, strange man was oblivious to a woman who had been quite blatant (toward me) with her flirting and feelings. However, I am incredibly thankful that God didn’t put us together back then, because neither of us would appreciate the other like we do today.
Moving forward from March, I really started searching for a job in Colorado. Nibbles here, bits of opportunity there. Nothing seemed to come together, and I kept getting discouraged as the months went by. Despite this, and while trying to sell of things (including my house!), I started saving money for the move. It also would serve to point out that I was also wanting to take a vacation to visit her, but I was wary of spending the money and using the vacation time. Also despite this, my Aunt gave me the cash for a round-trip ticket (unexpectedly, mind you), and I flew out to spend a week with her on July 1st.
What an incredible, yet whirlwind of a week! Not only did I get to spend time with the woman I love, but I got to meet her parents all within the same trip (ps. they live in Vegas!). Spending time with her, and her parents, was not only enjoyable, but educational on many levels for myself and them. They got to meet me, learn who I am, and how I am, and I got to learn more about them. It was an excellent, informative, and enjoyable experience.
After returning to Kentucky from my vacation, I started hitting the job search harder than ever. The visit did nothing but light a fire under my tail. Not only does the woman I love live in Colorado Springs, but I felt at home immediately. I had never felt at home where I’ve been, all my life. Yes, even my “hometown”, I had never felt comfortable and at home. You could say I had become rather content (not happy) with where I was. Resigning myself to be ‘content’ with where I am is something I never should have done.
A week after returning, I had applied for a position at Focus on the Family. The next week, I had been contacted by a recruiter at Focus. After speaking for around fifteen minutes and being told that they were interested in speaking further with me about some positions that they will have open, we eventually scheduled an interview that happened to be on my birthday! Not only was the interview on my birthday, but it had been one of the few interviews where I came out of it feeling quite confident about it. A couple of weeks later (ie. a week and a half), I was given a second, TEAM interview via Skype. Once again, I had come out of an interview feeling very confident. Two days later, I had been offered the job!
The next two weeks had consisted of packing, finishing up my position at Audubon Area Community Services, and planning as much as I could. Sad to say, I’m quite disorganized, no matter how hard I try. On August 22nd, I walked out of Audubon as an employee, for the last time.
On Wednesday, August 27th, I picked my girl up from Nashville. She flew in to help me pack up my car, pets, and make the drive to Colorado! How can one not love this woman? She is so kind, wonderful, sweet, loving and devoted. Am I lucky? No, I can’t say that. I am BLESSED. God has provided so much, not just for me, but for both of us. Yes, He provided financial help, starting Christmas day when I had developed plumbing issues on my house. Yes, He provided more help when my mortgagor claimed I was $400 short on my escrow account (which was INCREDIBLY painful, financially). Yes, He provided a way to come out and visit with her. I couldn’t be more thankful. In the meantime, He provided her with a better job, with a better apartment. He provided her not only TWO raises, but an additional bonus at her new job. THAT is incredible. Finally, He provided me a way to be out here in Colorado Springs. He gave me a way to not only be here with her, but a way to help in the ministry. A veritable one-two stroke; two birds with one stone.
He, effectively told me, “Yes, you have given your all to be there with her. Now, I want you to give Me your all.” And I will. I have a lot of learning and growing to do, but I will. After all that He has provided and cared for, how can I ignore Him? I can’t. She has been a Godsend, quite literally. Our history together is deep; she has been my best friend since college. Even when we were out of contact, she still knew me better than anyone else did, or does.
Yes, I thank God for everything I have. He has given me a lot, and now it’s time for me to try to give back in any way I can. I’m going to work as hard as I can to learn and further my work for Him. Yes, I’ve made a complete 180 degree turnaround, but I’m more than just thankful. I know I’m undeserving, but He blessed me with more than I could have imagined.
God speed my friend. I cannot be more joyous than to hear an 11-year prayer marathon for you since the day we met, answered with such a powerful force. God has truly blessed you and will continue. I keep praying for you. I pray that God gives you the strength that He promises for you to continue walking the narrow path that He calls us all to follow. I also pray that, God willing, you and her spend eternity together.
I am overjoyed for both of you and above all, so glad that you are searching for God’s will for your lives. I am inspired!!